I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think people are normalizing furries
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