New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
