her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
