Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This baby is an asshole
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
