That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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