so that wasnt chicken after all
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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