Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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