Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Houston, we have a blender
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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