god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
