Don't you send me to vm
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
