You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your mouth is God's brothel.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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