YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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