I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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