I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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