Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
