Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
