it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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