But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
