Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
