i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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