Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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