lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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