i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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