In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
