but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
