Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
