No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
