I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
