guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
