Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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