so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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