I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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