Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
