so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
