Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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