There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
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