Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
