He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
