you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
