Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
