your parents love me but you hate me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
