coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
