I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
