So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
