all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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