this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
