I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
