his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
