She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
