Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
