Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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