He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
