the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
