when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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