Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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