I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
