One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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