Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hippo gnu deer
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
