I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
