Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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