remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize