how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My breasts were aching with rage.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
