I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
