your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
