So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
