happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
