May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
