Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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